This website has been up for a while now, and I've struggled. Mainly I struggle because I haven't had the motivation for the upkeep of it all. Staying active on instagram, sending emails to the people on my mailing list, updating people about my art journey. I paint - a lot. But I'm not a big fan of documenting the things I do. I suppose it all stems of from a deeper fear of putting my work out there. It's something all artists struggle with, I've heard that before. But you don't realise you're in that loop until years later.
I used to always keep a journal when I was younger. I used to write all the things that inspired me, things I loved, things I hated, experiences that made me who I am. Those journals are all a jumbled mess of words and feelings and thoughts and I go back to them from time to time. I used to write songs and poems and I always wanted to have a blog. Somehow, the older I got, the harder it became to keep that up. Every once in a while, I would come to this blog section on my website that is always set to hidden. I'll write a few words, change my mind and go back to leaving it hidden. Somewhere along the way I stopped sharing.
So, here's to another start. Today is the 12th of June, 2023, and it's just about 4pm on a hot Monday afternoon. I'm going to try and stick to this schedule and make this my space to share again. I'll write things that sound corny, and I'll post things about my work that I keep locked away somewhere in my heart.
And maybe years down the line, I can come back and give these a read like the many journals that now live in a dusty drawer in my mum's house. Maybe this space will survive the dust.
I suppose we'll see..